I feel great
I just peed on a car
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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