just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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