sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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