big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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