Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
