hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
