You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
