ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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