actually, I'm a sock model
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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