How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
