mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize