The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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