I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
false alarm. still invincible.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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