even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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