i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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