Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
