So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
