based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
