my mouth tastes like poor choices
ugly people sure do ruin things
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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