my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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