And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
