her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
