I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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