dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
