he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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