i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
