That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
