Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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