We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
