honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
