To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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