my being single is dangerous.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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