: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
