I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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