I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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