Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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