i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
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Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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