Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
