After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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