"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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