he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
