It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That accounts for only three of the penises
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
