sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
