At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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