Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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