Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
