Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
