I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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