Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
