the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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