What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
