I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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