That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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