glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
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You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
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She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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