my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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