I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
