It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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