you will always have a special place in my vag
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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