Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
