ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My life is pants optional.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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